Traditionally, a shower is a party for the bride and her closest female
relatives and friends, where she is "showered" with love, good wishes, and
gifts. A couple shower, where both to-be-weds are celebrated, is another
popular option. Where to start to tackle the task? Don't fret. We've got
shower-planning basics nailed down to ten easy tips.
Who plans it Shower hostess is in the honor attendant's job description -- but
she should ask for help from the other bridesmaids, the bride's sis, even
the bride's mom. Emily Post types might tell you moms shouldn't plan a
shower because it looks like she's trying to get gifts for the bride, but
lots of mothers are very involved in this party, and in some parts of the
country, they'd be insulted not to have the honor of co-host. Enlist
anyone with the time and energy.
Pick the right date
A shower can take place six months before the wedding or it can be the
week before. It can be a surprise for the bride -- or not. Up to you.
Depending on where most of the guests live, you may need to schedule it
far in advance so everyone can make their travel plans. If most people are
local, you'll have more options. Once you've picked a date, set up a
planning schedule. Brainstorm as a team about the party -- themes,
locations, and entertainment -- early on. Divvy up tasks such as
getting/sending the invitations, making the decorations, and coordinating
the menu.
Decide on the budget
Before you start fantasizing about a full spa treatment for fifteen,
determine who is paying for this shindig and how much it is going to cost.
Shower costs can range anywhere from $200 to $2,000 and traditionally, the
maid of honor foots the bill. For fancy fetes, it's kosher to ask all the
bridesmaids to help out. Be clear about what everyone owes from the very
beginning, though. ("Everyone needs to pitch in $30 to cover the cost for
themselves and to pay for the bride's ride.") And make sure all dollar
exchanging takes place in advance.
The idea Is the bride a traditional tea party type of girl? Would she be
thrilled about a cozy shower at home, or is she expecting the works in a
hotel ballroom almost the size of her reception hall? Does she have
specific passions (art, gardening, traveling, the color pink) that might
lend themselves to a special shower? Keep in mind that themes often make
planning easier -- and more fun, because you can use your imagination to
add special touches to the invitations, gifts, food, and entertainment.
Let Bridal Showers: 13 Supreme Themes get you thinking creatively.
The location
You can be as creative as you want about where to have the shower. A list
of options: a picnic in a park or at the beach; a backyard barbecue; an
Italian restaurant; an ice-cream parlor; the zoo; an amusement park; a
botanic garden. Keep in mind that party spaces get booked early in busy
seasons, like during the holidays. Call about availability before you get
your heart set on something. And obviously, prices may be a factor.
The guest list
Everyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding. Ask
the bride to help out with the shower guest list. If it's a surprise,
consult with her mom, groom, or sister. If it's a bridal shower (just the
girls), make sure the bride's and groom's close female relatives are
invited, as well as all the women in the wedding party and the bride's
close girlfriends. If it's a couple shower, make it a coed guest list.
The gifts
It's a good idea to suggest that the bride and groom register for gifts
prior to the shower. In the shower invitations, include information about
where guests can purchase presents. (Yes, this is a-okay etiquette-wise.)
If you want guests to bring gifts in keeping with a theme, include special
instructions. Just make sure there are related items on the registry so
the soon-to-be newlyweds don't get unwanted gear. Investigate any special
discounts you can pass on to shower-gift buyers. For more shower gift
pointers, check out Bridal Showers: 6 Gift-Giving Tips.
The invitations
Don't feel like you have to go nuts with the invites. They should reflect
the formality (or informality) and theme of the shower, but they can be as
simple as those cute ready-made cards available at any card store. Make
sure guests RSVP to someone (the MOH, the bride's sister) by a date that's
at least a few weeks before the shower. If many guests will be coming from
out of town, mail the invitations at least two months before the party --
if not earlier -- so those who need to can make travel arrangements. If
it's an in-town thing, four to six weeks should be enough time.
Make a menu
If you're having an at-home shower, think about having the party catered
-- food can be anything from a five-foot hero to fried chicken and potato
salad to dim sum. If you're doing a theme shower, make the food match. Are
the bride and groom honeymooning in Venice? Do an Italian theme with a
full-on pasta bar. Don't forget hors d'oeuvres -- be it bowls of pretzels
and chips, crudites (raw vegetables and dip), or the bride's mom's famous
mini-pizza rounds! For dessert, serve cake, and/or pastries, cookies, pie,
ice cream -- either homemade or supplied from the yummiest bakery in town.
If you're having the shower in a banquet hall or restaurant, work with the
manager/host to come up with a delicious menu. Keep in mind the bride's
taste and any special guest needs such as vegetarian or kosher dishes.
The entertainment
Primary activities at any shower: eating, laughing, and gift-opening. One
bridesmaid (often the MOH) should keep track of which guest gave which
present, and another should make sure cards stay with the right boxes --
then thank-you notes won't be a nightmare for the bride. Background music
(in keeping with the theme, if it lends itself) is a good idea and some
planned activities will keep the party moving at a nice pace. Need party
game ideas? Check out Bridal Showers: A Complete Guide to Games. Showering
the bride in an amusement park, zoo, or other theme destination? You've
got built-in activities!
Above all: Don't stress too much. The shower should be a fairly
laid-back, intimate party for the bride and her closest relatives and
friends -- of which you are one. Make sure you have fun, too.
